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FAQ

We educate and promote safer sex practices, because part of self-love is respecting and taking care of yourself. (Remember to always have a Love Towel in the beside table drawer).

Also, by our very appearance, we re-introduce to the community the spirit of the "Other", and of the shamanic sacred fool that is the Drag Queens historical role in society. If there's room for us to look like we do, then there's room for you to be who and what you are without shame. Unless you torture lemurs in your basement. Then you should be ashamed and stop that nonsense. Lemurs are people too.

Q: Is your group all men?

A: Yes, except for the ones with the boobs and vaginas.

 Q: Who does your make-up?

A: Sally Struthers. We have her chained to a radiator in the convent bathroom with a tub of Krylon and a box of Crayolas. No, no. We do our own. Make up is part of each nun’s training when she joins the order. So the worse the make up, the newer the Sister.

Q: Why do you make fun of nuns and/or the Catholic Church?

A: Aside from the 10,000,000 queer men and women they had burned alive at the stake and otherwise tortured and killed during the Middle Ages and the Renaissance, and forgetting for the moment the institutionalized shame, guilt and degradation assigned our people, we are not anti Catholic by any means. While we do maintain a healthy critique of Catholic policies which ill favor the full range of human self-expression, we honor our Catholic brothers and sisters as we do the squirrels in the forest and the beetles on the leaf. Any resemblance to a Catholic nun is mere coincidence. Ok, maybe not "mere".

While adopting the tongue in cheek (!) appearance of a mustached nun, we also believe we are nuns; gay nuns. We serve our community with faith and without judgment. We seek to uplift each person's spirit. And we spend hours on our knees in obedient supplication. And yes, we do take vows. Usually vows of iniquity.

Q: Can anyone become a sister?

A: I don't know about Tonya Harding, but YOU certainly could. Just come to a few meetings and events, let us know who you are and ask somenun what the procedure entails. Then run.

Q: Aren't you all from San Francisco?

A: No. While the world wide Order started on that be-fogged peninsular village, The Los Angeles house of Sisters founded itself in 1995. Our members hail from as far away as Lancaster, Palm Springs, and Orange County and as near as Hollywood.

Q: Are you all of one religion?

A: Yes. We are all devotees of the Space Aliens that brought "religion" to Earth when they founded civilization.

Q: Why does Sister Buffy always show her ass?

A: She sees better with her bunghole.

Q: What is that thing you all are wearing on your head?

A: While some nuns call their headpiece is a coronet ours have, through the miracle of the Democratic process, become known as Hoobeedoobee. Each house of the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence has a distinctively different bit of headgear. Allow me to run some down for you:

Los Angeles = looks like the Hollywood Bowl with corners
San Francisco = looks like boobs on either side of the cranium
Seattle = looks like they store their toilet seats under their veils
Las Vegas = looks like a nurse's cap over a tennis visor with Sally Field wings
San Diego = looks like a fez with lateral moose antlers
France = looks pointy and hasn't been ironed since Paris was invented
Germany = ripped off San Francisco but more of an up-do
Australia, Britain, Uruguay = boxes, boxes, boxes

Q: What is a Clownfu*ker?

A: This is a guy or a girl that makes a pass or other sexual advance toward a Sister of Perpetual Indulgence whilst they are in full make-up and habit. Also known as a "good dating candidate".

Q: Has the Vatican really declared you heretics?

A: Our understanding is that we were placed on the Vatican's list of heretics after the papal visit to San Francisco in 1987. The San Francisco Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence headed up the "Just Say Nope" campaign and performed an exorcism of the dear fellow. Our placement on that list puts us in the company of Joan of Arc, Galileo, and Martin Luther. But does making this exclusive list get us a better seat at a five-star restaurant? Sadly, No.

Q: Why do you saint people?

A: There are two reasons for sainting an individual:

1) Beats paying palimony.
2) Individuals who have given of their time, energy and/or money to help SPI with our work need to be recognized. The person can also be someone who has given a great deal of these qualities to others in the lgbt community separate from any SPI functions. These sainted individuals have shown through their tremendous sacrifice and efforts that they are trying to make life better for lgbt persons.

Q: What the f*ck?

A: Exactly.